What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
