Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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