PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
