perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
