Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize