Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize