I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
