He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
