my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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