I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
