That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
