is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
