Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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