Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize