she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
