I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
