It's like a parade of train wrecks.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
