The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize