So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
