you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
