Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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