its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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