i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
