So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
