Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
