Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
