Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
