sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
