We should be called the Road Head Warriors
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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