Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
