My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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