so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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