So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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