that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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