Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Randomize
