I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
