Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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