just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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