He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
