So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
