so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
