"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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