i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
