Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
