My first STD was from a foam party
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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