Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
