im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
