the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
