It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize