i was born a porn star she said
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
