so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
should my penis look like a turkey
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Randomize
