I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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