If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
