Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize