Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize