I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
