We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
