you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
