I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
