Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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