she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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